Johnnie Verbeck

(sung after each verse):
Oh, Mister Johnnie Verbeck,
How could you be so mean?
I told you you’d be sorry
For inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbors’ cats and dogs
Will never more be seen,
They’ll all be ground to sausages
In Johnnie Verbeck's machine!

There was a little Dutchman, his name was Johnnie Verbeck.
He was a dealer in sausages and sauerkraut and spec.
He made the finest sausages that ever you did see.
But one day he invented a wonderful sausage machine.

One day a boy went walking, he walked into the store,
He bought a pound of sausages and piled them on the floor.
The boy began to whistle, he whistled up a tune,
And all the little sausages went dancing 'round the room.

One day the meat inspector came knocking at the door,
He said, "I've come to check your shop, so give me money more!"
Johnnie got real angry, and pushed him in the meat.
He fired up the old machine and now there's more to eat.

One day there was a shortage, there was no meat to grind.
So Johnnie called the city pound to see what he could find.
They said, "We're out of business, we keep the strays no more."
"But we'll refer all future finds directly to your store."

One day the machine got busted, the blamed thing wouldn't go.
So Johnnie Verbeck, he climbed inside to see what made it so;
His wife, she had a nightmare, and walking in her sleep,
She gave the crank an awful yank and Johnnie Verbeck was meat.