Waltzing with Bears
Attributed to: Dr. Seuss, Eugene Poddany, and Dale Marxen

My Uncle Walter goes Waltzing with Bears,
It's a most unbearable state of affairs,
Every saturday night he creeps down the back stairs,
Sneaks out of the house and goes Waltzing with Bears.

Chorus: He goes Wa-wa wa-wa-wa Waltzing with Bears.
Raggy bears, baggy bears, shaggy bears too.
There's nothing on Earth Uncle Walter won't do
So he can go waltzing, wa-wa-wa waltzing
So he can go waltzing, go waltzing with bears.

I went to his room in the middle of the night,
Tiptoed inside and turned on the light.
But to my dismay he was nowhere in sight,
My Uncle Walter goes waltzing at night.

I bought Uncle Walter a new coat to wear,
But when he comes home it's all covered with hair,
And lately I've noticed there are several new tears,
I'm afraid Uncle Walter's goes Waltzing with Bears.

We told Uncle Walter that he should be good,
And do all the things we say that he should,
But we know he'd rather be off in the woods,
We're afraid we will lose him, we'll lose him for good.

We begged and we pleaded, "Oh, please won't you stay?"
And managed to keep him home for the day,
But the bears all barged in and they took him away,
And he's dancing with pandas and we don't understand it,
But the bears all demand at least one waltz a day.